mental health: fun for the whole family

SO told me last night that he wasn’t taking his antidepressants any more.

I asked him how long it had been since he’d decided this.  He looked shamefaced and said about three weeks.  He was ashamed because he hadn’t told me, not because he’d stopped taking his drugs.

SO originally went on Lexapro about a year ago.  He was becoming highly anxious, and was also having violent bouts of rage.  When I say ‘violent’ he never hit me – but he did throw things across the room, kick the wall, drive like a maniac, get into screaming furies about minor things, and generally scare the crap out of me at different times.  He’d been on Lexapro before and it had worked well, so his doctor put him back on it.  He also started counselling, which he responded to well.

Anyhow, we talked about it.  He explained he’d forgotten his tablets a couple of nights in a row, then decided that he would see how he went coming off it.  He didn’t have any major withdrawal symptoms, so that was good.  I asked him how he was feeling, and he said that he’s able to do things still, which is good.  (One of the other major issues before he went on the antidepressants was he felt paralysed and couldn’t do things.)  He said he had noticed that he’s getting more angry over things though.  From my perspective, I can only think of one incident recently where I thought he was unreasonable, but it’s definitely something that I will be keeping an eye on, for his and my benefit.

Mental health problems have an incredibly wide-reaching effect.  They can completely derail the person who is suffering.  But like a train with many carriages, that derailment also affects those closest to that person.  Your whole life is altered.  I find myself trying not to analyse his every reaction to things.  It’s stressful and exhausting. 

I’m hoping that this will work out.  SO’s family on the maternal side have a history of chronic depression, so he is much more likely than, say, I am, to have to stay on antidepressants for prolonged periods during his life.  I guess all I can do is be relaxed but alert to the possibility that at some point, I’ll need to intervene and have a chat with him about going back on the meds.

Wish us luck.