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Despite my poor little brain becoming fried, work on our Glendalough unit continued unabated this weekend.  (Or so I’ve been told, anyhow.)  It culminated in an open viewing today.  We’re hoping to have it rented out in the next couple of weeks.

So, for the faithful, some comparison pictures.  The kitchen, before:

and after:

 The old bathroom:

and after:

And finally, the living room before:

and after:

As you may have guessed, we’re pretty proud of ourselves.  Two units down, one to go.  Let’s just hope I don’t end up in the loony bin by the end of it all.

temporary insanity?

Long time no post.  We’ve had lots on with the units, work, etc. as you may have guessed.  The only reason I’m writing tonight is because I’m scared.

I’m scared that I’ll never really shake off this depression.  That I’ll always come back to feeling horribly, physically sick in the stomach from fear and anxiety.  That it will end up driving away SO, the love of my life.  That I won’t be able to work full-time without spending all my non-work hours trying to recover from the demands of being productive for eight hours a day, five days a week.  That a relapse will always hover in the shadows, at the edge of my peripheral vision, waiting for the moment to strike.

I’m scared that if I ever have children, it will make me a neglectful mother, out of sheer incapacity.  I’m scared that I will end up seeing suicide as a better option than the alternative, just to escape the constant pain in my head.  I’m scared that I will end up isolated and alone, as my friends and family slowly lose patience with the wreck that is my depressed self.

I’m scared that I’ll never be able to count on thinking clearly and rationally when I need to.  I’m scared that every time I get tired, due to the demands of life or just not enough sleep, I’m at risk of triggering a rapid decline into incapacity. 

I hate living with depression, but I also hate the fear and dread that is part and parcel of mental illness.  It eats away at your self-esteem, as you realise that you can’t always cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs.  Your personality changes until you look in the mirror and don’t recognise yourself.  I was never fearful of life before, but depression has given me a glimpse of how an ordinary life can become unbearable, through no fault of my own, or anybody else’s.

All I want is to be convinced that it will be okay, and I will be okay. 

common sense

I was reading my favourite gossip website, Perez Hilton, the other day, when this comment jumped out at me.  Underneath a faaaaabulous pic of Snoop Dogg, dressed all in black, with a long black Matrix-style coat, was this quote:

“A lot of people like to fool you and say that you’re not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That’s what I learned from selling crack”.

Now, I’m certainly not advocating Snoop’s method of learning common sense.  But it did make me laugh out loud.

If you want to see Snoop’s caption, it’s here.

And kisses to the amazing Perez Hilton for brightening up my day!! 

sick

The good news is, I’m physically sick, not mentally sick (well, no worse than usual, anyhow).  I’ve somehow managed to come down with something closely resembling the Martian Death Flu.  As I sit here, alternately shivering and sweating, I’ve been thinking about illness generally.  Men get sick, go to bed, and complain loudly.  Women get sick, pick up new taps from the hardware shop for their renovation project, go food shopping, get prescriptions filled, and then clean the toilet and bathroom.  Guess how I’ve spent my day so far?

Actually, it was funny at the chemist’s.  I got my scripts for the pill and Lexapro filled, then asked for some extras – panadol, cold and flu tablets, and iron tablets.  The total came to over $150.  I choked slightly at this, and the girl serving me said sympathetically, ‘It added up quickly didn’t it?!’  I nodded, and said, ‘Well, it’s worth it…. without the drugs I’d be pregnant and suicidal’.  The poor girl’s eyes widened and she said confusedly, ‘Oh….’ 

I keep forgetting that mental illness isn’t something people generally joke about.  Whoops.  I must have been standing behind the door when social awareness was handed out.

progress

It’s Sunday, and tomorrow we are back at work after a week off.  I’m pretty happy with what we’ve accomplished so far.  We’ve painted all of our Glendalough unit, apart from the bathroom, and we’ve changed the light fittings.  We’ve changed the taps and other fittings, and organised a new bathroom door and laundry cabinet.  We had the venetians throughout taken down and professionally cleaned, which saved us having to get new curtain treatments – they came back looking fantastic.  The tiles in the kitchen have been White Knight-ed, so they look brand new and sparkling clean.  Overall, the place looks completely different to what it did when we bought it.

Also, SO decided tonight that the bathroom handbasin had to go.  It had a significant chip in the top right-hand corner, inside the basin, with cracks radiating out from it.  It looked really bad.  Plus, it was so low that only a six-year-old would be able to use it comfortably.

This is what it looked like before SO took to it.  The picture doesn’t show the dilapidated state the basin was in, but you get an idea:

 

After he had a couple of bashes at it, I decided to take another shot for posterity.  The crack had let a significant amount of water into the basin itself, which was putrid, but you have to really look closely to see it in the shot:

Then after SO had finished his handiwork, this was all that was left:

Removing such an ugly fixture was a very satisfying process.

We are getting the flooring laid on Friday.  I can’t wait – this will make it really finished.  We’ve decided to go for vinyl in the kitchen, and carpet for the main area and bedrooms.  (We’re sticking with the current bathroom tiles, for now – we’ll change them when we redo the bathroom properly.)  The vinyl will be the floorboard lookalike stuff, which is nice and modern, as well as quiet.  This is important in a unit, where noise can be an issue.

So generally, I’m happy with how things are going.  If only our other major reno was going as quickly, I’d be over the moon.  Still I can’t complain – our week off work has paid off in major dividends for this unit.  I’d say we’re only about 10 days to a fortnight away from renting it.  Woohoo!

lesson learned

Every day is a learning experience when you’re renovating.  Today, for example, I decided to have a go at taking up the cork tiles in the kitchen in our Glendalough unit.  We’d need to take them up to lay the vinyl flooring, right?  So I had a good little dig at them before we went out to buy the vinyl and carpet for the unit.

Whoops.  Wrong, as it turns out.  We could’ve left them down and just laid the vinyl over them.  Now, as I’d had a go digging at them, the surface is no longer smooth.  We need to take the whole lot up.  This doesn’t sound too bad, but let me put it this way: after about six man-hours, we’ve only removed about a third of the tiles.  This is an area that’s only about four square metres, so you get the idea.

I did learn one interesting thing, however.  If you are removing cork tiles, you can sprinkle flour over the glue that’s left behind on the floor.  The other alternative is feeling like a giant bug on flypaper.  Trust me on this.

I’ve been looking into floor strippers tonight.  Hiring one is sounding like a seriously good option at this point.  For $100 for four hours, my little problem could be easily (and quickly) fixed.  Now, I just need to convince the Finance Manager.  (Both SO and I refer to the other one in this manner when we need to get agreement over expenditure.  It’s basically recognition of the fact the other person has veto power.)

If nothing else, we did do a few things today.  The whole unit except the bathroom has been undercoated and primed.  We’ve picked up the bathroom taps, and a new basin, for a really good price.  We ordered the carpet and vinyl flooring, which will be laid next Tuesday.  So yeah, we have accomplished a fair bit.  Already, the unit is looking so much better it’s unbelievable.

We’ve also decided to get the existing venetians cleaned, rather than replace them, and get the bathroom floor grouting cleaned.  We’ve done this before, and it looks really good.  Plus, it’s time efficient – the results are much better than me scrubbing them on bended knee.

SO is doing double duty today – he’s at the other unit tonight.  The kitchen cabinetry is being installed by our friend who made it, so SO is chipping in to help out.  I don’t know what the neighbours will think about the drilling at 9pm at night, but to be honest, I just want this one finished.  This project has been ongoing since March, and we need it finished and tenanted ASAP.

So tired.  I think I’m going to go to bed and try to forget about the whole cork tile thing.