the pimple that dare not speak its name

Oh yes.  I have been visited by the Scourge.  The curse of the Dark One. 

I am currently host to….. the Arse Pimple.  (Actually, it’s Arse Pimples.  There’s about six of them.)

These aren’t just pimples.  Oh no.  They are large, pustulous globules which have a life of their own.  And man, do they hurt.  I think it’s the amount that the skin has to stretch to accommodate them.  Owwwwch. 

I seriously considered taking a photo of my nether regions.  I even tried to get some relatively PG-rated angles, using hands and bits of towel to cover up the non-PG bits.  However, it looked bad no matter what I did, it was a baaaaad look.  No one needs to see that.

Yes.  So that’s my situation.  Essentially, I have an incredibly sore, pimple-infested backside.  MMmmmm! What a turn on that must be!  Luckily, SO has been with me long enough to not let it worry him.  Me, I’m too sore to even contemplate doing the nasty.  It hurts enough just sitting down, let alone sitting on something and moving skin rapidly.   (Sorry for the visual.)

And I have to try to walk normally at work.  This is more difficult than it sounds, especially as I’m a big wuss.  So I’m trying not to walk unless necessary. 

Soooo…. anybody know any miracle cures for this ailment?  I’m ready to try almost anything.  Home remedies not involving sterilising a sewing needle are welcome.