giving thanks

I am so lucky.  I’ve been too badly depressed to enjoy the last two Christmases.  As my birthday is at the end of December, that means my last two birthdays have been pretty traumatic as well.  This includes my 30th, which passed like a blur.

Anyhow, two Christmases and two birthdays have been written off to the black dog.  And here I am, 6 months of 40mgs of Lexapro per day later, about to go overseas, and really looking forward to it.  I’m doing stuff again, feeling motivated, thinking clearly both at work and outside of work.  My self-esteem is slowly creeping back, and I’m actually looking forward to stuff again.  I never thought I’d do that again, to be honest.  It seems like a miracle.

I choose to do stuff other than sleep.  I see my friends.  I interact with work colleagues.  I laugh, and I cry when there’s a reason to, and not otherwise.  I feel capable of handling life and its vagaries.  I enjoy challenges.  Getting out of bed is no longer one of them.

Australians don’t have thanksgiving, but I am giving thanks right now for getting my mental health back.